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How Confusing is the English Language, duh?

 
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blackshtef
mi3.crew


Joined: 13 Sep 2003
Posts: 661

PostPosted: 22.10.2005 13:42    Post subject: How Confusing is the English Language, duh? Add user to your forum ignore list Reply with quote

We’ll begin with a box, and the plural is boxes;
but the plural of ox became oxen not oxes.
One fowl is a goose, but two are called geese,
yet the plural of moose should never be meese.
You may find a lone mouse or a nest full of mice;
yet the plural of house is houses, not hice.
If the plural of man is always called men,
why shouldn’t the plural of pan be called pen?
If I spoke of my foot and show you my feet,
and I give you a boot, would a pair be called beet?
If one is a tooth and a whole set are teeth,
why shouldn’t the plural of booth be called beeth?
Then one may be that, and three would be those,
yet hat in the plural would never be hose,
and the plural of cat is cats, not cose.
We speak of a brother and also of brethren,
but though we say mother, we never say methren.
Then the masculine pronouns are he, his and him,
but imagine the feminine, she, shis and shim.


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Some other reasons to be grateful if you grew up speaking English:

The bandage was wound around the wound.
The farm was used to produce produce.
The dump was so full that it had to refuse more refuse.
We must polish the Polish furniture.
He could lead if he would get the lead out.
The soldier decided to desert his dessert in the desert.
Since there is no time like the present, he thought it was time to present the present.
At the Army base, a bass was painted on the head of a bass drum.
When shot at, the dove dove into the bushes.
I did not object to the object.
The insurance was invalid for the invalid.
There was a row among the oarsmen about how to row.
They were too close to the door to close it.
The buck does funny things when the does are present.
A seamstress and a sewer fell down into a sewer line.
To help with planting, the farmer taught his sow to sow.
The wind was too strong to wind the sail.
After a number of Novocain injections, my jaw got number.
Upon seeing the tear in the painting I shed a tear.
I had to subject the subject to a series of tests.
How can I intimate this to my most intimate friend?
I spent last evening evening out a pile of dirt.

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Some other examples of strange pronounciations come into the picture with: if you have a rough cough, climbing can be tough when going through the bough on a tree!

There is no egg in eggplant nor ham in hamburger; neither apple nor pine in pineapple. English muffins weren’t invented in England.

If we explore the paradoxes, we find that quicksand can work slowly, boxing rings are square and a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig.

And why is it that writers write but fingers don’t fing, grocers don’t groce and hammers don’t ham? Doesn’t it seem crazy that you can make amends but not one amend? If you have a bunch of odds and ends and get rid of all but one of them, what do you call it? If teachers taught, why didn’t preachers praught? If a vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat? In what other language do people recite at a play and play at a recital? Ship by truck and send cargo by ship? Have noses that run and feet that smell? How can a slim chance and a fat chance be the same, while a wise man and a wiseguy are opposites?

You have to marvel at the unique lunacy of a language in which your house can burn up as it burns down, in which you fill in a form by filling it out and in which an alarm goes off by going on. If Dad is Pop, how’s come Mom isn’t Mop?
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pike



Joined: 09 Sep 2003
Posts: 399
Location: Zagreb

PostPosted: 22.10.2005 14:19    Post subject: Add user to your forum ignore list Reply with quote

hehe, mrak, fali ti sam ono

"...beware of dead
a dreadful word
that sounds like bed
and spells like bead...itd"
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Chali



Joined: 08 Oct 2003
Posts: 132

PostPosted: 22.10.2005 14:26    Post subject: Add user to your forum ignore list Reply with quote

but again, if you look at our beautiful mother tongue, you'll find it's just as confusing Razz
svaki jezik ima svojih fora i fazona hehe
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kakarinac



Joined: 16 Feb 2005
Posts: 1978
Location: Rijeka

PostPosted: 22.10.2005 15:17    Post subject: Add user to your forum ignore list Reply with quote

confusing?

probajte onda ovo, naglas, pred ljudima

Engeski za početnike: (for beginners)

... Tri vještice promatraju tri Swatch-sata. Koja vještica promatra koji
Swatch-sat?

To isto, sada na engleskom:

... Three witches watch three swatch watches. Which witch watches which
swatch watch?

Engleski za napredne: (advanced english)

... Tri vještice promijenjenog spola promatraju tri gumba Swatch-sata. Koja
vještica promijenjenog spola promatra koji gumb Swatch-sata?

I to na engleskom:

... Three switched witches watch three Swatch watch switches. Which switched
witch watches which Swatch watch switch?

Engleski za stručnjake: (english for experts)

...Tri švicarske vještice-drolje, koje žele biti švicarske vještice-drolje
promijenjenog spola, žele promatrati tri gumba švicarskih Swatch-satova.
Koja švicarska vještica-drolja, koja želi biti švicarska vještica-drolja
promijenjenog spola, želi promatrati koji gumb švicarskog Swatch-sata?

...i to još na engleskom:

.. Three swiss witch-bitches, who wish to be switched swiss witch-bitches,
wish to watch three swiss Swatch watch switches. Which swiss witch-bitch who
wishes to be a switched swiss witch-bitch, wishes to watch which swiss
Swatch watch switch?

Shocked Shocked Shocked Shocked Shocked

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mile



Joined: 10 Sep 2003
Posts: 1327
Location: Jeruzalem

PostPosted: 22.10.2005 16:10    Post subject: Add user to your forum ignore list Reply with quote

kakarinac wrote:

.. Three swiss witch-bitches, who wish to be switched swiss witch-bitches,
wish to watch three swiss Swatch watch switches. Which swiss witch-bitch who
wishes to be a switched swiss witch-bitch, wishes to watch which swiss
Swatch watch switch?


Very Happy ROTFL
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blackshtef
mi3.crew


Joined: 13 Sep 2003
Posts: 661

PostPosted: 22.10.2005 17:03    Post subject: Add user to your forum ignore list Reply with quote

kakarinac wrote:
confusing?

probajte onda ovo, naglas, pred ljudima

Engeski za početnike: (for beginners)

... Tri vještice promatraju tri Swatch-sata. Koja vještica promatra koji
Swatch-sat?

To isto, sada na engleskom:

... Three witches watch three swatch watches. Which witch watches which
swatch watch?

Engleski za napredne: (advanced english)

... Tri vještice promijenjenog spola promatraju tri gumba Swatch-sata. Koja
vještica promijenjenog spola promatra koji gumb Swatch-sata?

I to na engleskom:

... Three switched witches watch three Swatch watch switches. Which switched
witch watches which Swatch watch switch?

Engleski za stručnjake: (english for experts)

...Tri švicarske vještice-drolje, koje žele biti švicarske vještice-drolje
promijenjenog spola, žele promatrati tri gumba švicarskih Swatch-satova.
Koja švicarska vještica-drolja, koja želi biti švicarska vještica-drolja
promijenjenog spola, želi promatrati koji gumb švicarskog Swatch-sata?

...i to još na engleskom:

.. Three swiss witch-bitches, who wish to be switched swiss witch-bitches,
wish to watch three swiss Swatch watch switches. Which swiss witch-bitch who
wishes to be a switched swiss witch-bitch, wishes to watch which swiss
Swatch watch switch?

Shocked Shocked Shocked Shocked Shocked

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chegevara



Joined: 27 Aug 2005
Posts: 5
Location: Sarajevo

PostPosted: 26.10.2005 16:29    Post subject: Add user to your forum ignore list Reply with quote

Three swiss witch-bitches, who wish to be switched swiss witch-bitches,
wish to watch three swiss Swatch watch switches. Which swiss witch-bitch who
wishes to be a switched swiss witch-bitch, wishes to watch which swiss
Swatch watch switch?


Ovo je cisti otrov

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F4usT



Joined: 23 Sep 2004
Posts: 252
Location: Croatia / Čakovec

PostPosted: 26.10.2005 17:13    Post subject: Add user to your forum ignore list Reply with quote

wičšvišsišwivićišscšivcšvic... wtf??

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