VIC

[monkey]

Stoji časna i stopira i sad neće niko da stane stoji tako ona jedan sat, dva sata, tri i odjednom neko stane, ona priđe autu i pita Muju pa zašto si mi stao čekam tu već više od tri sata i nikako da netko stane, a na to će mujo svaki Batmanov prijatelj je i moj prijatelj!

[p4P3r]

Prijevod na kineski, japanski ili vec nekaj...

On se sali s tobom = Ate Zayebawa

On ne moze ostaviti cigarete = Nasugushi Kokopushi

Nasi konkurenti su ozbiljni = Onitamo Yebukewu

On ne predstavlja prijetnju = Neka Migaduwa

Mislim da smo se izgubili = Yao Kudasada

Trebalo bi kupiti krumpir i mljeveno meso = Yedemi Semusaka

Dobar tek = Malodishi

On je jako dobar muz = Agatura Doyaya

On se toga plasi = Nemamuda

Ocuh = Mamukara

Maceha = Mometati Pushikaru

Svekrva = Wadidushu

Spol muski = Imakitu

Spol zenski = Nemakitu

Homoseksualac = Kituima Kitupushi

Lezbijka = Imapitsu Ocheribu

Nju ne interesiraju mu skarci = Owariba Nechekaru

Imamo ženu za direktora = Namadisha Imapitsu

Gatara = Chiribuchi Riba

On voli gledanje u karte = Ochegata

On ne vjeruje u vracare = Nechegata

Super mi je s njim = Tura Miduboko

On je spavao s njom = Natako Yenakitu

Seks = Kita Upitsu

Zelim seks (M) = Nakitu Minayashi

Zelim seks (Ž) = Udjimi Upitsu

Analni seks = Kitakara Teudupe

Oralni seks = Aypopu Shimikitu

[kakarinac]

Sjedim u miru na wc-u i obavljam "posao", kad zacujem pitanje iz susjednog wc-a:
Halo, kako si?

Nisam bas tip koji razgovara u muskom wc-u i ne znam sto mi bi da sam odgovorio :
Odlicno sam!

Uslijedilo je slijedece pitanje:
Sta radis?

Kakvo li je to pitanje? U trenutku mi je bilo dosta cudnih pitanja pa sam odgovorio:
Dakle, mislim da radim isto sto i ti...

Pokusao sam se pozuriti, kad zacuh slijedece pitanje:
Mogu li doci k tebi?

OK, ovo pitanje mi je precudno, ali pokusao sam ostati ljubazan. Stoga sam odgovorio slijdece:
Ne, trenutno sam stvarno zauzet!

Zatim ga cuh kako rece:
Cuj me, nazvat cu te ponovo malo kasnije. Neki idiot sjedi pored mene i odgovara na moja pitanja!

[jojo]

ufff

[F4usT]

Progutao sam tavu. Ko ne vjeruje nek opipa dršku.
Grafit na crkvi "Udite slobodno, gazda je razapet"
Zar ti moram sto puta ponavljati? Rece centimetar metru.
S pojacalom smo jaci!!!
Da li je Homerova ulica slepa ulica?
Drkanje je samo nacin da svoju srecu uzmemo u svoje ruke.
Preljub: dvoje pogrešnih ljudi rade pravu stvar.
Kada se svadate s budalom, postoje velike šanse da i on radi to isto.
"Sada" je tocka u vremenu koja je vec prošla.
Da li ocekivanje neocekivanog cini da neocekivano postane ocekivanim?
Budite sigurni da radite 8 sati i da spavate 8 sati. Ali ne istih 8 sati.
Ako maslinovo ulje dolazi od maslina, od cega dolazi baby-ulje?
Prijatelj služi da kada ti je loš dan odeš i pokvariš i njemu dan.

[Pekx]

kakarinac wrote:

Sedam patuljaka, na čelu sa Ljutkom, došli u Vatikan, ulaze u katedralu Sv. Petra i traže Papu. Došao Papa i pita ih šta hoće. Ljutko: - Slušaj Papa, ima li koja časna sestra koja je manja od nas? - Nema, kaže Papa. - Ma možda ipak ima, razmisli malo? - Ma nema kad vam kažem! Ljutko, ljutito: - Ma Papa, jesi li sto posto siguran??? - Ma Ljutko, sto posto sam siguran da nema niti jedne časne sestre manje od vas!!! A šest patuljaka iza Ljutka: - Ljutko je jebo pingvina, Ljutko je jebo pingvina...

pogledaj par postova iznad

[kakarinac]

Pekx wrote:

kakarinac wrote: Sedam patuljaka, na čelu sa Ljutkom, došli u Vatikan, ulaze u katedralu Sv. Petra i traže Papu. Došao Papa i pita ih šta hoće. Ljutko: - Slušaj Papa, ima li koja časna sestra koja je manja od nas? - Nema, kaže Papa. - Ma možda ipak ima, razmisli malo? - Ma nema kad vam kažem! Ljutko, ljutito: - Ma Papa, jesi li sto posto siguran??? - Ma Ljutko, sto posto sam siguran da nema niti jedne časne sestre manje od vas!!! A šest patuljaka iza Ljutka: - Ljutko je jebo pingvina, Ljutko je jebo pingvina... pogledaj par postova iznad

[nel`chee]

ovo nisu vicevi vec actuall izjave mojih bivsih srednjoskolskih kolega, pa kome se da citat...
http://web.vip.hr/nelchee.vip/biseri/biseri-page1.htm

P.S. ovako sam radila stranice prije 4 godine

[djipster]

SHARON: "Glupo mi je učiti tu glupu gramatiku iz latinskog. Korica bi nas trebala učiti govoriti da znamo pričati kad dođemo negdje gdje se priča latinski."

sharon rula

[storm]

"Zgaženih nema mnogo. Ima ih samo u tragovima "

[Pekx]

kakarinac wrote:

ovaj mi je najbolji

[civ]

Bila dva Slovenca, Suljo i Mujo ...

[flek]

Idem neki dan kroz zrinjevac i cujem 2 penzića na klupi pričaju:

Znas, čiko, meni ti je penzija ko menga...
Dobijem je jednom mjesečno, imam je par dana, a poslje se mogu je*at


Last edited by flek on 19.10.2005 10:52; edited 1 time in total

[jojo]

djipster wrote:

SHARON: "Glupo mi je učiti tu glupu gramatiku iz latinskog. Korica bi nas trebala učiti govoriti da znamo pričati kad dođemo negdje gdje se priča latinski." sharon rula

postoje svake godine kampovi za srednjoskolce i studente koji u njima pricaju sve na latinskom... ima zena pravo

inace u srednjoj sam slusala 4 godine po 2-3 sata tjedno latinskog (grcki pustimo sa strane) i na koricama bilježnice mi je bila velikim slovima napisana slavna izreka: "Latin is the language as dead as it can be, first it killed the Romans and now it's killing me!"

[Pekx]

[irfan]

djipster wrote:

SHARON: "Glupo mi je učiti tu glupu gramatiku iz latinskog. Korica bi nas trebala učiti govoriti da znamo pričati kad dođemo negdje gdje se priča latinski." sharon rula

buahahahahah

[andrej`]

Kada policajac skoči u vodu čuje se glup, a kada specijalac skoči u vodu čuje se glupglup.

[nel`chee]

matematika za plavuse

[Dead Man]

p4P3r je zaboravio na dva japanska izraza:

Djevica: Nikotaka

Kurva: Kotaka Nataka

[zelenko]

..Marko... says (15:56):
KAD CEMO SLIKAT???
...Marko... says (16:00):
ali s mojim fotom!
Zelja : ) says (16:02):
a isti je racku, moj ili tvoj
Zelja : ) says (16:02):
svejedno se slike smanjuju za web
...Marko... says (16:04):
pa da ali pixeli ostaju
Zelja : ) says (16:04):
heh
...Marko... says (16:04):
sta se smijes
Zelja : ) says (16:04):
pa smiješno je
...Marko... says (16:04):
kuzis
...Marko... says (16:05):
bolje da bude slika pixelasta
...Marko... says (16:05):
nego da bude onak neka jadna
Zelja : ) says (16:05):
pixelasta ?
...Marko... says (16:05):
a emu mater da

Baš sam se sada lijepo nasmijao, pa evo da podjelim razgovor prek MSN-a s Vama !

Hehe.. komentari poželjni !

[jojo]

ovo mi je upravo stiglo na mail. kaže: razvuci oči kao kinez pa pročitaj:

[les]

jojo wrote:

ovo mi je upravo stiglo na mail. kaže: razvuci oči kao kinez pa pročitaj:

[jojo]

očistite svoj monitor online (moving towards web3 ):
http://pegla.com/images/peglatjedna/177.swf

[nel`chee]

cudi me da ovaj vec nije bio

Jesus and Satan were having an ongoing argument about who was better on the computer. They had been going at it for days, and God was tired of hearing all of the bickering. Finally God said, "Cool it! I am going to set up a test that will run two hours, and I will judge who does the better job."

So Satan and Jesus sat down at the keyboards and typed away. They moused. They did spreadsheets. They wrote reports. They sent faxes. They sent emails. They sent out emails with attachments. They downloaded. They did some genealogy reports. They made cards. They did every known job. But 10 minutes before their time was up, lightning suddenly flashed across the sky, thunder clapped, the rain poured, and, of course, the electricity went off.

Satan stared at his blank screen and screamed every curse word known in the underworld. Jesus just sighed. The electricity finally flickered back on, and each of them restarted their computers. Satan started searching frantically and screamed, "It's gone! It's all gone! I lost everything when the power went off!"

Meanwhile, Jesus quietly started printing out all of his files from the past two hours of diligent work. Satan observed this and became irate. "Wait! He cheated! How did he do it?"





God shrugged and said, "Jesus saves."

[les]

Pismo helpdesku

Girlfriend 7.0 upgrade to Wife 1.0 tech support letter

Dear Tech Support,

Last year I upgraded from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0 and noticed that the new program began unexpected child processing that took up a lot of new space, valuable resources and monetary funds. No mention of this phenomenon was included in the product brochure.

In addition, Wife 1.0 installs itself into all other programs and launches during system initialization, where it monitors all other system activity. Applications such as Poker Night 10.3, Drunken Boys Night 2.5 and Saturday Football 5.0 no longer run, crashing the system whenever selected.

I cannot seem to keep wife 1.0 in the background while attempting to run some of my other favorite applications. I am thinking about going back to Girlfriend 7.0, but the uninstall does not work on this program.

Can you please help me!!!???

Thanks,
A Troubled User

======================================================

Dear Troubled User,

This is a very common problem men complain about, but is mostly due to a primary misconception. Many people upgrade from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0 with the idea that Wife 1.0 is merely a UTILITIES & ENTERTAINMENT program. Wife 1.0 is an OPERATING SYSTEM and designed by its creator to run everything.

It is unlikely you would be able to purge Wife 1.0 and still convert back to Girlfriend 7.0. Hidden operating files within your system would cause Girlfriend 7.0 to emulate Wife 1.0 so nothing is gained. It is impossible to uninstall, delete, or purge the program files from the system once installed. You cannot go back to Girlfriend 7.0 because Wife 1.0 is not designed to do this.

Some have tried to install Girlfriend 8.0 or Wife 2.0 but end up with more problems than the original system. Look in your manual under "Warnings- Alimony! /Child support!". I recommend you keep Wife 1.0 and deal with the situation.

I suggest installing background application program C:\YESDEAR to alleviate software augmentation. Having installed Wife1.0 myself, I might also suggest you read the entire section regarding General Partnership Faults (GPFs). You must assume all responsibility for faults and problems that might occur, regardless of their cause. The best course of action will be to enter the command C:\APOLOGIZE. In any case avoid excessive use of C:\YES DEAR because ultimately you may have to give the APOLOGIZE command before the operating system will return to normal. The system will run smoothly as long as you take the blame for all the GPFs.

Wife 1.0 is a great program, but very high-maintenance. Consider buying additional software to improve the performance of Wife 1.0. I recommend Flowers 3.1 and nothing less than Diamonds 2K. Do not, under any circumstances install Secretary with Short Skirt 3.3. This is not a supported application for Wife 1.0 and is likely to cause irreversible damage to the operating system.

Best of Luck,
Tech Support